Debra Garfinkle ([info]dlgarfinkle) wrote,
@ 2008-07-01 07:30:00
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A boring but possibly helpful post about writing

I took notes after I critiqued manuscripts at the Florida SCBWI conference a few weeks ago, but I never got around to blogging about them. I was too busy blogging about important stuff, like my dinner and drinks experiences at the conference. Until now. Ta da!

I wish I could say something wise and unique, but the most common problems with the manuscripts-- and there were some terrific manuscripts, but I never met a manuscript I couldn't pick apart maniacally-- were problems you've probably generally read about before. Also, I'm not wise. So here goes: 

1. Show, don't tell. Yeah, I know, basic. But people still write, "I felt sad" rather than "I blinked back tears," or "Katie had a great sense of humor," rather than showing Katie telling a joke. Hey, I do it too sometimes, especially when I just want to finish writing a scene or chapter and subconciously know that showing takes longer than telling. But showing really pays off by involving readers in the story.  

2. Keep in mind the age group of the reader. For instance, picture book readers probably won't relate to a boy who has to take out the trash. 

3. When writing description from a first person or third person close point of view, always keep in mind how the narrating character views the world. This helps establish "voice." For instance, you the author might write beautifully about a sunset, but would a teenage boy write that way about a sunset? Would he even notice the sunset?

4. If you're writing about kids or teens in the present, make sure their names are not "Debbie" or "Bobby" or other old-fashioned names.   

5. Don't switch points of view more than once per scene. You the author might not be confused, but readers will be.

6. Don't tell your story meant for children from an adult POV. I know there are exceptions to this rule and every rule I mention here, but generally it doesn't work. Kids want to read about kids. Teens want to read about teens.

7. Start at the right place. Don't start with backstory. Don't start in Ashley's POV if most of the book is going to be told in Marissa's POV. Don't start with a huge event such as a championship baseball game if we don't know the characters involved in the game well enough to care which team wins.

8. A character should solve her own problem. For instance, if Danny really wants to keep a stray cat he found but his dad doesn't want to, the resolution to the story should not be that Dad decides on his own that Danny can keep it. Have Danny cleverly persuade Dad to change his mind.

9. Ground the dialogue and action in a particular setting. Where are the characters when they're speaking or wrestling or kissing? It's not enough that they're at school. Are they in the cafeteria, surrounded by their classmates? In a hallway? Outside in the snow?



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[info]tamarak
2008-07-01 03:11 pm UTC (link)
Good stuff...

And, yeah, DEBBIE is a way old-fashioned name. Writers should go for the hip and happening names like TAMMI.

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-01 04:01 pm UTC (link)
Funny, I was just thinking how hip and happening the name Tammi was-- in 1980.

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[info]d_michiko_f
2008-07-01 03:11 pm UTC (link)
Bob and I are thrilled to learn our names are old-fashioned. Thank you!

heheheheeheh

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-01 04:02 pm UTC (link)
Bobby and Debbie are old-fashioned names. Bob and Debbi, however, are... well, they're old fashioned too. So is Debby. Sorry.

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[info]jbknowles
2008-07-01 04:20 pm UTC (link)
Great tips!! Good reminders for all of us. Thanks!!

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[info]micolz
2008-07-01 06:35 pm UTC (link)
These are good pointers! Thanks for posting!

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[info]christine444
2008-07-01 07:39 pm UTC (link)
#1--I had to smirk when I reread the first sentence of "The Runner," by Cynthia Voight: "Bullet was angry." Yes, she then showed it, but the first line seemed unnecessary.

#4--I feel sorry for a lot of kids these days. Parents are getting so "creative" with spellings, they'll have to keep spelling their names for everybody.

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-02 03:33 am UTC (link)
#1. Oh, that hack Cynthia Voight. Kidding.

#4. I love booksignings. But I really have to focus on the names. Especially if it's a Caitlyn, Katelyn, Katelin, Catelin, Catelyn, etc.

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[info]christine444
2008-07-02 03:43 am UTC (link)
Really. You win one Newbery Award and think you can do anything. :>)

I've seen two creative spellings recently--Romen and Maddieson. *Sigh.* And then there's Ayden, Aiden, Aidan; not to mention Jayden, Caden, Braden...

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[info]emohawk9000
2008-07-01 07:53 pm UTC (link)
I just finished a workshopping class where I was constantly saying, "Stop frontloading your piece with backstory and summary." I find I struggle with this in my own writing: how much backstory does a reader REALLY need to know and when do they need to know it? I've really been practicing my ability to zero in on essential info and parse it out over the course of a novel.

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-02 03:35 am UTC (link)
Yes! Sometimes I just want to shout, "Get to the story already! I don't care if he had a difficult birth or how they met or where he grew up!"

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[info]pjhoover.blogspot.com
2008-07-01 09:06 pm UTC (link)
So not boring! I love working on number 9 and try to incorporate it more and more.
See ya!

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-02 03:37 am UTC (link)
Oh, I have to work so hard at number 9. I always start with dialouge and internal thought and then have to go back and add setting details.

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[info]deenaml
2008-07-01 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Good stuff, not boring, but not as cool as your book mentioned on CNN!!!! Congrats!

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-02 03:38 am UTC (link)
Thanks! That really is cool!

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[info]alixwrites
2008-07-02 02:30 am UTC (link)
Lucky you! You went to the Florida SCBWI, and you didn't get my personal pet peeve which is old ladies with books that are inexplicably* set in the 1930's, 1940's, or 1950's because, "I don't know what teens are like today" or "It was just more fun during the the Great Depression/World War II/the Cuban Missile Crisis" or (my personal favorite from January) "I set it in the 1950's because I just didn't want the MC to have a cell phone." Like, hello? Have the kid gripe that her parents won't give her a cell phone. Problem solved!

Anyway, sorry I missed you. Congrats on your book being on CNN.

*by "inexplicably" I mean they didn't have any of the usual hallmarks of historical fiction such as actually having some reason to be set in that time period, such as that the children were sent to a distant relative's country house because London was being bombed. They're just regular school or camp stories which happen to take place during the 1950's.

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-02 03:45 am UTC (link)
I have to admit I set my book Stuck in the 70s in 1978 because I was lazy. It's when I was in high school and I thought it would be easy. It ended up involving a ton of research. I had to research exactly what happened in that two-month time period of Sept. and Oct. 1978, movies popular then, prices of things, clothes styles, etc. And since it was a time travel novel, I had to research physics too. It was fun to send up the disco/polyester/perm era, but never again! And, yeah, we shouldn't set something in the past but not truly explore the era.

I'm sorry I missed you too in FL. The writers there seemed so nice and close-knit.

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[info]alixwrites
2008-07-02 07:25 am UTC (link)
Nah, I wasn't talking about time travel novels. Your title lets you out of what I was talking about. As I said, inexplicable 1950's settings -- like a book about a girl who goes to camp, and it happens to be the 1950's or whatever.

Speaking of 1978, my daughter who is 12, the same age I was in 1978, recently picked up Paula Danziger's Can You Sue Your Parents for Malpractice? which was published in 1979 (I had a piece in a guide to YA fiction, and the publisher, Walker, sent me a copy, so she's been choosing her reading out of that, including some very old books). The cover features a girl with feathered Farrah Fawcett bangs talking to a boy who looks like Shaun (which is how we used to spell Sean) Cassidy, and I told Katie, "That's what kids looked like when I was your age!" The kids on the cover actually looked like specific kids in my 7th grade class!

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[info]daniellejoseph
2008-07-02 02:43 am UTC (link)
Great tips. You should totally hand out this tip sheet the next time you are a critiquer here in Florida. Note, how I said next time:). Miami in Jan. anyone?

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[info]dlgarfinkle
2008-07-02 03:45 am UTC (link)
I would totally go again if they'd have me.

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[info]daniellejoseph
2008-07-02 12:46 pm UTC (link)
I will pass the word on!

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